I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
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