Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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