Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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