he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize