i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize