this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My underwear smells like fireworks.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
