Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
