why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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