The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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