i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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