Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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