Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
