look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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