SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
