I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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