i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
