omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
