It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
