hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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