we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
