so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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