Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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