For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
