I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
