You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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