But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize