The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
