Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
