I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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