This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
