Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
