In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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