You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
