Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
