pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
