since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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