She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
