wrigley field is MILF paradise
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
