Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
