Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
