You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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