The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize