i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
false alarm. still invincible.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
