Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
