i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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