i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
