And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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