is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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