i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
