Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
