So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
