can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
