i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Found the puke drawer
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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