Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
