weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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