WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
