Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
